First off I want to say hello again. It has been a while since my last post but my life has been so hectic. You might be wondering why, so I will tell you. Well our dear sweet Parker came into the world mid-April. My water broke around 5:20 am, which is right around the time when my husband’s alarm goes off for work. Parker must have known that and wanted to stop his daddy from going to work, haha. I called my doctor’s office just to make sure I needed to go to the hospital, and we were off with our hospital bag and car seat! We got to the hospital and it all felt surreal. I did paper work, got settled into my room, and got hooked up to the i.v. We called our parents and siblings to let them know today was the day. It just so happened to be my mother-in-law’s birthday, so Parker now shares his day with his grandma. Soon the contractions began and that was unpleasant, but I think I handled them okay. We were excited and nervous as we waited in the big room knowing our son would be here soon. Our families came and waited and waited as my contractions got stronger. You could feel the anticipation as the clock slowly ticked. Each passing minute felt like an eternity. Finally I got my epidural, but then I began to feel nauseous and run a fever. I threw up like three times, but I hadn’t eaten since about 9 the night before so it was just fluids and dry heaving. I also stopped dilating (even though I was barely dilating to begin with), and after about 14 hours after my water first broke my doctor decided it was best to do a c-section. My husband and mother went into the operating room with me. It was a weird feeling as they cut me and pulled our little boy out, I could feel the pressure but it was not a feeling I’ve felt before. When we heard our little guy cry, we both began to cry as well. It was a wonderful feeling. However, I was freezing on the table, my whole body was literally shaking from being so cold. I tried so hard to control it because I didn’t want to mess up the doctor’s work and I didn’t want to scare my husband even more. Poor thing was so scared and I could see it in his eyes. I was shaking so hard and my lips were blue, plus I was so tired from not sleeping well or enough the night before, on top of the long hours of having contractions. He held my hand up until the doctors gave him our son. I could tell even then that he was worried about me. He’s stated previously that he was scared of what could go wrong, and that he couldn’t imagine losing me. I was concentrating on staying awake and not shaking to ease his mind. They finally closed me up and brought us into our room. I was still shaking so bad once I was in the room that I was too scared to hold him. I let everyone else have their turn first while I recovered. Apparently I was running a fever again even though I was freezing and had blue lips. They layered on the covers while I chowed down on ice chips. I was so thirsty that I just wanted to drink a gallon of water at once, and those ice chips just made me mad. Haha. Eventually our family members had to leave (even though they really didn’t want to), I got better, and I got to finally hold my boy.
I decided a while back that I wanted to breastfeed instead of formula feed because of the health benefits for him. It wasn’t so bad the first time I tried feeding him because the nurse helped me, but it got difficult because he wouldn’t latch on right and it hurt. He would want to eat when I wanted to rest, so that was draining. It was an exhausting day, but we didn’t go to sleep until about 2 in the morning because we had a sudden burst of adrenaline. The next day was the day I had to get up to pee for the first time since the operation. That was so disgusting and painful. If you are a mom, you know exactly what I’m talking about. I had to get help from my husband and a nurse. A 2 minute activity was now a 15 minute ordeal. My legs and feet were so swollen that it looked like one big piece of flesh. I’ve never seen my leg that swollen before. It was from all the fluids they were giving me. I am so grateful for the nurses, they were the kindest, most helpful nurses I have ever met. Anything we needed, they were there to help. We stayed in the hospital 3 days and nights, then we were finally able to bring our bundle of joy home! Being pushed out of the hospital via wheelchair and waiting for my husband to pull the car up was something I’ve seen in movies. It was finally happening to me, and it was crazy. The weather outside was perfect; sunshine and a light breeze. It was the first time I had been outside in 3 days. I got in the back with Parker as we headed home. It was a scary ride back for a few reasons. One being I was terrified it would hurt my body because little sudden movements killed me. Another being my paranoia of other drivers and the inability to be cautious. I was so happy when we pulled into the parking lot of our apartment complex. Happy to be home at last. I was still sore from the surgery, and I had to walk up stairs to get to our apartment. You can imagine the pain I felt and the time it took for me to walk up those things. After making it up the stairs and admiring our beautiful child, we had to rest. We were so hungry and tired that we ordered a pizza and just slept the day away.
That first week of healing was hell! I cried so much from pain and exhaustion. Every activity took forever to complete. I had to take my time getting up, walking, and moving around. Breastfeeding was so hard to do because I could barely move. It was still new to me and my body that it took me a few weeks to get into a groove (I still have my “what am I doing” moments). Then feeding became so painful that I would cry every time he was hungry. I wanted to quit so bad, but I didn’t. My nips were so raw and cracked that I had to get a nipple shield to protect them and him until they healed. He also had a problem latching, mainly because I couldn’t help him, so the shield helped him get a better latch. We also got a pump so I could give my breasts a break every now and then, and we tried a little bit of formula every once in a while as well. He doesn’t like the formula as much as my milk, but it keeps him fuller a little longer and it gives me a small break. Breastfeeding was harder than the recovery, emotionally and physically. I had to take it hour by hour, then day by day, and now I am almost at month 3. My goal was 4 weeks, then 6, then 8, and now I’m going for 4 months. Although I got frustrated and wanted to give up a lot, I wanted to give my son the best nutrition possible so I couldn’t give up. My husband was there every step. He supported me emotionally, mentally, and psychically so much, and he continues to everyday. I can’t imagine getting through any of it without him.
Parker is at the stage now where he sleeps less during the day and more at night. He sleeps 4-6 hours during most nights before waking up to feed again. He smiles so much!!! It just melts my heart and makes me smile back at him. I love singing and reading to him, and I think he enjoys it too because he smiles at me. Gosh I can just hug him so tight. I love him to death. I love watching him and his dad playing. When they smile at each other I swear time just stops for a few seconds. It is the most precious thing I’ve ever seen. All the crazy things I’ve gone through before, during, and after having him are well worth it.
My guys are both in bed sleeping right now, and I am about to join them.
Stay tuned for more sharing!!
Thanks for reading!!! 
